These past 2 weeks or so have been nothing but eye opening and deeply impacting on me. See i realized the reason why i had been depressed, the reason why i literally almost went off the deep end was because of things i buried deep down inside of me. The whole being lesbian thing needs to be fixed, because i was like that for the wrong reasons. I was like that because my mother abused me and was never there for me....and so my subconcious tried to substitute her with other women. Looking for that attention she never gave me. And i knew that was the answer because when i came upon it i felt this calming feeling as if my soul was saying BINGO! And so that i am changing NOW. Because in all honesty, it was mentally messing me up. Also just things i have been through in life i bottled them up for YEARS and just recently they all surfaced, thus the reasoning for my meltdown. My dad and i had a huge discussion last week on everything i held inside and it felt as if my body was released of such a heavy load that i was literally drained for a few days. Right now i feel a lot better, im going to be a work in progress no doubt, but i feel a lot better knowing that im going to be okay now. Because im doing what is best for me. That was also another problem of mine, i stuffed everything down in order to help others or worry about other situations and so everything just built up. And now im working on myself because how the heck am i going to be able to care for others and just survive in life if im broken down? You know?  I feel so good right now, so calm and peaceful. Right now im alittle reclusive though, i think because its a soul searching and repairing kind of period for me. But i feel more calm than i ever have before and im ready to tackle everything one by one!

Another set of good news is im going to be a Sisterrr again!!! lol my Dad and his gf are having a baby and its either going to be an april baby or may baby ....so an Aries of Taurus!! Lol either way im just soooo excited and giddy right now!!!! I cant wait!! I love babies sooooo much!! So lets pray that Suzanne (his gf) remains healthy and brings a healthy child into this world as well. Blessings to all of you, and Thanks to all of you who have been there for me when i needed you the most. LOVE YOU GUYS! ♥