Haven't written here in quite a bit so i figured now that i've got a chance i would fill anybody in on how things are going in my life so far. Well i got a different job working at Wal*Mart. It's a whole lot better than my last two jobs, i can just feel that i'll enjoy this as the time goes on. I start today and work from 2-11 so thats already a 9 hour shift. Lol the lady that did orientation with me yesterday said the girl(nicole) that interviewed me last week really liked me a lot and had already made a schedule for me for 3 weeks Lol. I was like hmm, okay guess i made a good impression then. But yeah so im a little bit nervous of course, you know the whole new job first day kinda nerves thing. But im not as bas as i was on my last two jobs. Because i just didn't like them. But i have a feeling i'll do a whole lot better here. But see theres only one, main psychological problem with me lol. Like...now that i've got this job all these stupid thoughts keep running through my head on how im going to screw up Lol. I hate this, this happens to me with everything. I OVER analyze things i guess. Maybe this is why im nuts lol.

Cody and I are remaining friends because were practically both gay and just have feelings for one another. And he clearly stated to me that he's just not ready for a relationship due to some personal issues. And i respect that. I mean i feel like he is like my souls twin (LoL) but maybe we were just meant to be friends and the love we have for eachother is so strong that we just thought a relationship could form out of it. I mean who knows what the future brings? Honestly i do feel a whole lot more comfortable being with a women than a man, but cody is the only guy i guess i'd make a consideration for. But i mean thats no big deal, its just one of those things you've gotta take as they come and be ready for and accept any possible outcome. And im cool with that =)

I've also been getting really bad vibes lately. I don't know where its coming from but its REALLY bad and could also be the reason why i've just been feeling so miserable on and off about everything. Last night when the family and some friends got together for some drinking and dancing, i couldn't even enjoy myself. This feeling, this force, or whatever you may call it was so strong that it physically made me ill. Much like the time i spent at my mothers house but without the piercing migrane. Right now all i feel is depression and anxiety. I don't know, but something strong is definately brewing in the universe. Mother Earth is PISSED. I can just feel it. It's as if the whole world is trembling with emotion and i can feel its every vibration ranging from pure joy to pure anger or sadness. And im trying not to let this get to me too much because i of course don't want to make a bad impression on my first day at work. Which i wont because im quite adaptable (thankfully). Me and my Father often talk about these feelings we pick up on. Were both empaths and literally feel the slightest vibrations in the air...and my Dad was just like "Jenn, i swear sometimes i like knowing things and being ready for them...but then again it gets so annoying sometimes that i wonder if im just cursed." And i was like "Dad, you weren't just slapped with a gift because you looked pretty, it was handed down to you because you could bare it." Which is true...i mean i know everyone has these gifts deep inside, but a lot of times they go malnourished due to society's view on things they can't explain. So its always really nice to find people who have embraced these gifts and allowed them to grow stronger throughout life.

Well i think i have written quite enough for this morning and now i shall go off and take a shower and call in at my other job and let them know i've found a new one. I feel bad, but i mean the place im at now only stays open for summer and i need something more permanent. Gotta be practical! (I know, i know im such a Taurus lol).  Take care everybody♥